Article by Cameron Spink

 

A recent article on the Boundless website confronted a woman's email inquiry which read:

 

"I was a member of a Christian online dating site last year and met a wonderful godly man. We exchanged emails and talked via Skype every day and night for two months. We were planning to meet, but before it happened, one day during our Skype conversation, he started to say things that stirred up our emotions. We ended up climaxing over Skype.

I felt so guilty. I've never done such a thing, but he didn't seem upset by it. He said this was natural, but later because I could not go on, we prayed together and asked forgiveness from God and each other.

Is telephone sex still sex or not? By the way, he stopped contacting me after a while. So sad."

Now the Boundless author, Candice Watters, appropriately chastised this woman and pointed out some of the mistaken assumptions this woman has. For instance, the description of "godly man" is debunked by the man's actions. Watters' article is certainly worth the read if you have a spare 5 minutes.

 

What bears some consideration particularly, however, is the mindset of this anonymous woman. She would likely call herself a Christian, hence being on a Christian online dating site and then contacting Boundless website after this incident. Yet she still participated in the sinful act that this man on Skype instigated.

 

As a young Christian I do realise that there are great temptations out there. It may not be this specific situation that sticks to your otherwise clean appearance but there are other lustful decisions that have brought young Christians undone. Watching pornography on the internet. Late nights up with a boyfriend/girlfriend that lead from one compromise to the next. These things cannot be undone and we know they are impermissible. So why do we, as young Christians, persist in them?

 

Perhaps the biggest reason is because we have bought the world's lie. Through entertainment, social media and our friendship groups our understanding of biblical truth in regards to sexual ethics has been eroded away. We may have been sheltered from this in our early years by our parents but eventually we are exposed. Either in high school or in our university lives we realise that others do not agree with how our parents brought us up. Letting our friends talk around us about sexual exploits without challenging their way of thinking is the first compromise. It makes it much more difficult to convince ourselves that we need boundaries. After all, why should we have boundaries if others do not have them imposed on their sexual lives?

 

Another dangerous trend that may relate to compromise is the lack of support. When a person hits puberty many questions are raised. It cannot be said that these questions aren't addressed by leading theologians and many pastors out there. However, at teen years most of us aren't turning to D. A. Carson or our elderly pastor (you know, the one who has meeting with your parents) for answers. Instead we turn to our peers. Even within Church circles many of our peers have bought the lies of the world. It is a domino effect where those who have questions no longer have biblically literate peers to turn to and so, while they don't usually act upon urges just yet, their questions and concerns are left unchallenged. This exacerbates any future compromise.

 

A devastating compromise is not on the part of the individual but on the part of Christian leadership. While this is not always true many youth pastors (or Christian's in youth leadership roles) feel handicapped about what they can promote, in regards to ethics. Some are concerned about losing the numbers who turn up for a games night on the Friday. Others are having a similar crisis as the woman from the email. What is occurring more and more is a watered down message of the Gospel. Instead of something that is life-transforming the story of Jesus becomes something trendy that is promotable and palatable.

 

Mentioned above are some of the issues that cause compromise but not all of them. Obviously individual people have specific motives for compromising but these are trends that need to be addressed. At one level it starts with the youth pastor. If those young Christians within the Church actually have solid footing and answered questions then they are more likely to be ready to face these challenges. In a similar role are the university chaplains. These people can do a lot of good. However, this role is a double-edged sword because these people can actually work to undermine a person's faith.

 

If a youth pastor can turn the tide then these young Christians who he/she has trained up can act as moral support for their friendship groups. After all, a Christian teenager will soon be thrust into university, work or other endeavour and the youth pastor will no longer be a source of biblical grounding. So it is essential that we keep each other grounded. Let us reason together.

 

When all this is said and done, though, the buck stops with the individual. We do not have the luxury of missing the signs of our impending sinfulness. We must strive for purity. Desire it and run from compromise. The lie of the world is all-consuming and ensnares the unwary traveller.

 

"Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.

See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ."

Colossians 2:6-8 (ESV)