Two weeks ago I engaged in a discussion regarding ten good reasons why one should abstain from premarital sex. I didn't, however, touch on the issue of lust.

 

As Christians we prescribe to a biblical understanding of the world (at least we should). The Bible endorses sex as something which is great and pleasurable, in the right circumstances. Unfortunately, we have a society which looks us directly in the eye and lies to us saying that sex is great in any situation. Therefore, it is justifiable to satisfy one's sexual curiosities, to participate in homosexuality or to cheat on a spouse or a partner.

 

I have been astonished by the number of supposedly rational people in the secular world who endorse, or at least, do not see any problem with having an affair. In this sense I mean participating in sex with someone other than one's actual partner (this includes any cheating whether by permission - i.e. hall pass, or behind said partner's back). It seems incredible to me that such actions can be construed to being positive rather than the vile acts of betrayal they actually are.

 

Jesus taught that merely by lusting one is committing adultery (Matt. 5:28). Such an interpretation of the Old Testament commandment is difficult to follow from the day puberty hits in, to the day hormones are no longer needed. This commandment not only prohibits cheating on a partner but also having sex with someone outside of marriage. Many people reject Christianity on this point alone. This commandment is seen to be too restrictive as it also takes into account what one thinks about.

 

Recently I have found it difficult to follow Jesus's charge in regards to sexual temptation. It is very easy to slip into a mindset that by the act of being engaged to someone means that we are in a committed relationship. This is certainly not helped by the mutual attraction that a couple generally has. It is important to remember here that being committed to another person does not reflect an actual marriage. Saying you love someone does not reflect wedding vows.

 

For young Christians it can be a draining thing to wait. Some may feel desperate as they feel they have no hope for finding someone who'd want to spend the rest of their lives with them. Others struggle to contain the feelings of mutual affection for another person. Both are on the verge of ignoring the warnings of Jesus.

 

Sexual appetite does not exist in isolation. In one is to act upon these urges there are consequences. One of the strongest consequences is an undermining guilt because of how you have blatantly placed your own selfish desires over the best interests of the person who participated in sex with you. As a Christian I know that if I were to have sex I am damaging my relationship with God. I also know that sex can very quickly become something which is addictive and can define even the most committed relationship if God is not the head of it.

 

Many people (Christians included) do not have the grounding to avoid being entrapped by the pulsing sexuality of society. Through life we face times of temptation, be it while we are single or when we dating/engaged, where we will struggle to say no to the voice in our head telling us that "everyone else is doing it". The fact is:

 

1. Everyone else is not doing it.
2. Even if they were, it doesn't make it right.
3. Such logic does not protect from the shame and guilt of a decision to participate in sexual activity.

 

Most young adults struggle with lust in one way or another. It may be in a sexual way, like mentioned above, or it may be in pornography. Regardless of whether you are fantasising over your fiancé, a friend or the woman in the video on the internet this is destructive behaviour. As Paul writes:

 

It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.

1 Thessalonians 4: 3 - 7

 

Joshua Harris has written a book called Sex Is Not The Problem (Lust Is). This is worth checking out for all of us who need to keep our eyes open to avoid Satan snares:

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