Article by Cameron Spink

 

A completely outrageous article appeared last month in The New York Times under wedding/celebrations. It starts with the question 'What happens when love comes at the wrong time?" and expands the story of John Partilla and Carol Anne Riddell as they came to fall in love and then marry. Unfortunately this was at the expense of their spouses and the marriages they left.

 

At first they were merely platonic friends who shared group dinners and activities together. But as time moved on their rhythm began to sync and both parties struggled to hold their feelings in check until one day they confronted each other. At this engagement they had two options. John Partilla puts it this way "their options were either to act on their feelings and break up their marriages or to deny their feelings and live dishonestly".

 

While there is no accounting for how difficult the plight of staying with partners they didn't profess to love it is with a heavy heart that I read that they decided upon breaking up their marriages because of an "unconditional and all-encompassing" feeling.

 

To be honest, this is a great example of what love is not and it is so disappointing to see the New York Times express this article with such grandeur when these two have acted in such an immoral way. It may well be that they begin to live a fulfilling marriage and while I cannot judge them as flawed, I cannot help but think that they have acted very selfishly. They have not taken into consideration the pain of their spouses or the hurt of their partner's spouse. More importantly they have not considered their children into whether they should stay with their previous partner. Instead they have deemed that the feelings that they have for each other are more important than anyone else in their lives.

 

When I see this I am challenged to be a better man. I know that love is hard and that we are flawed people and, for some, the signals can mix up and they can lust over those whom they cannot have. But real love survives all these obstacles because it includes a commitment to each other through the hard times. There is no perfect partner that one should wait for (or indeed leave their spouse for). God provides us with many, but when we marry that is when the searching stops, period!

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/19/fashion/weddings/19vows.html?_r=3&ref=style