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Susie O'Brien's article today attacks Sue Edgerley's new book because it endorses smacking. While this is an old topic it seems that parenting has come under the spotlight again. In many ways Susie does not reflect Christian values nor is her parental advice or example particularly impressive. However, read the article yourself and let us know what you think on our forum.
Smacking is no parenting solution, despite advice from author Sue Edgerley
Susie O'Brien, Herald Sun
"Sue Edgerley is an Aussie mother of three who has written a very brave parenting book.
In a world where some children seem to have more rights than their parents (or does it just feel that way?), it takes a lot of guts to come out and urge parents, in print, to take control again.
But it's an important reminder of the need to put the family first, and not just children first.
That said, some of the ideas don't just seem brave, they also seem crazy-brave and occasionally just plain crazy.
She thinks parents should smack their babies, that praise is over-used by parents, and that mums and dads shouldn't try to be friends with their kids.
And this I don't believe in....
We aren't allowed to smack women, so why are we allowed to smack kids? All you are doing is teaching them
that violence is an effective way to solve a situation.
So there must be a middle ground out there somewhere.
And I do think we can be friends with our kids. I don't want to be their BFF (best friend forever) but I do want them to like me and to enjoy the time we spend together. If they tolerate you or do what you want because they are scared of you, it's hardly the path to a lifetime of good relations, is it?
So I don't endorse everything Edgerley says, but she does have a couple of really good reminders. Her emphasis is on the way parents behave, and not just the kids, and I found that really useful.
Her five keys to parenting focus more on how we as parents should act - for instance, stay calm and controlled, and at all times keep your composure.
As she points out: "Any time you appear frustrated, angry, tearful, etc, you have lost the 'battle of the wills'."
When you give your children an instruction, expect it to be followed immediately. If it isn't, respond immediately. Do this every time.
Again, it's useful advice - there's often so much going on in our homes that it's easier to let things slide.
But as she points out: "Parents who are inconsistent teach their kids nothing, except maybe not to listen to them."
And: "If children learn that you can be persuaded to change your mind then there will be no peace in your house." Ain't that the truth.
Ultimately, though, Edgerley is offering a vital reminder that families are important, and we all need to spend more time and attention looking after each other. We do need more time together with the TV switched off, more time playing together and more unscheduled time to hang out together.
And we need to be able to be honest with ourselves and others when we realise we need to do things better.
It's sad, but true, that we sometimes need others to tell us that it's OK to take time off to look after not only our kids, but ourselves as well."
Click here to read the full article.
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